It was about when I turned the lights off in the classroom, the classroom where we had been sheltering-in-place, that I started to feel adrenalin begin to pump through my veins. This experience has haunted me ever since. Why do I feel like a scared child? Is it because I am? What have I become since that experience?

I am and will always be someone who is just trying to help. My chosen profession, or at least the profession I have fallen into is teaching. But ever since that experience I have begun to question my decision. Am I destined to become a man with a position of power, a position of authority within the classroom. At the very least I could become a substitute teacher in a district. Or I could become a stationed chemistry teacher in that district, with responsibilities to teach and to lesson plan. Or I could become a lecturer at a community college, helping those along in their studies to bypass some part of this ridiculous system we live in. Or I could become a lecturer at a university, will more responsibility. Or I could become a tenured professor at a large university. What will I become?

The important thing to note is that I do not have to decide now. I am in the middle of my graduate studies and I deserve to finish them. To finish what I have started. After that, who knows what will become of me.

JLS